New purpose

I'm falling down into the same trap. Which is for many many times I thought money is the only one. Where am I right now. Just think about money is not making you grown up. You're still here on the same condition, scarcity. I know it's still in Allah's decree. But it's not my point. I referred to self-contentment. Self-satisfaction. The thing that I shoup put on my purpose to achieve. And now I get it. The core is not about material things, yet it's nothing other than valuable things. 

I had stopped being over thought about money. From now on I change my perspective on it, which I really pursue how do I get more valuable, giving a lot of benefits in this life, either for my family and others generally. How can I deliver a ton of values so that I can achieve the quality of life. I believed that money would follow you if you put yourself in the prestigious position, it's exactly be more valuable for people's life. 

The things that I want to pursue to be good. 

English teacher, soft daee, public speaker, sales person, communication, Arabic, being a good son for may parents, being good also for my siblings and people generally, traveler, a good father and husband. 

I'd promised, from tomorrow I'd just like to focus on some higher things other than money. I'm done with it. I'm burnt out. 

I should really focus on how do I become a helper for people who wants to improve their English skill, how to love myself abundantly. How to trust myself independently. How do I be a good to Allah. How do I stop complaining in the hardship. How do I serve my mom and my family. 

I'm done with money. I'm done with money. I just want to help people. I would come along with mission to help people achieve what they want. I really want to make people easy and strengthen them to accomplish what they desire for. 

I'm doing what I love then love people as much as possible as I can. 

Keep Being grateful at whatever condition that you're in. Sometimes life is really hard but not for forever. If you want to compare how much hardship did get through with how much ease did you get, of course it's not coming close to comparable. 

Self-affirmative

I'm grateful to Allah for all the things he had given to me. I thank to Allah for water, food, air, humble abode place to live, eemaan, healthy and alive. I'm grateful to Allah even until now I'm still survived. I'm grateful to Allah I still can do my fasting in the month of Ramadan. I would thankful to Allah He had provided me food for breaking fast as free. I'm thankful to Allah knowing that I still have connection with some friends. I'm grateful to Allah He kept my parents protect them in good care. I grateful to Allah for Phone and Internet access because these things help me out a lot especially in learning. I'm grateful to Allah for some ayah of the quran that I had memorized. I'm grateful to Allah I'm still passionate to figure out and learn how to improve myself. I really thank to Allah for character and self-uniqness, these exactly separate me from what others have. 

I'm worthy of love and belonging. I'm fully compassionate upon people. I love myself the way I am. I respect my decision even sometimes that's gone arbitrary. I deserve to be loved and respected. I'm worthy of acceptance. I'm caring about people. I really want to learn to be better and better again. 

I had promised that I'm not going to blame circumstances. I won't complain about anything what happens. I pull up in complacency. Self-fulfillment. Self-acceptance. 

Currently I landed in a new environment. People are kind of different, they're not in the way that I always expect to be. Basically I got traumatized living in such that environment, especially got bullying when I was in the school, it gets me in the way. But it's ok! I would experience through shaming state. I will accept that I'm not perfect but again I'm worthy of love and belonging. 

Now I don't really care about how should I look like, struggling to beautify your words when you speak up. I'm done. Finish!

I'm imperfect and I really respect myself, whatever what happens, I would accept them

Keep Being Grateful

Alhamdulillah o Allah, for everything You had given to me. Alhamdulillah o Allah for health and life. O Allah I'm grateful, I'm still able to fast for today. O Allah I'm grateful that I still have a humble place to abide. O Allah I really thank to You for water and air you have provided in this life. O Allah I'm grateful knowing my organs still in the well-function. O Allah I'm grateful knowing until right now I still survive. O Allah I'm grateful to You, you're always good and I'm a sinner. O Allah I'm grateful for food that I had consumed in every time I break the fast. O Allah I'm grateful for job and Rp. 20.000 income that I can get in daily. O Allah I'm so thankful to You for all the things that I had accomplished in this life. O Allah I really thank to You for all of kindness, blessings, bounties that I'm not able to count on them. O Allah, make me a good human being, make me a person who give lots of benefits for others, make me a person who have a good career.

Gratitude Can Change Your Attitude

I'm grateful to Allah for everything that He had given to me. I'm grateful to Allah for water, air, the access of Internet, a rent place to abide, bathroom, closet, healthiness, get alive, still having well functional organs of my body, still being trusted by some people around me, relation, knowing that my parents still alive and they are healthy, I still have a chance of fasting in the month of Ramadan, the hand phone so I can seek out the knowledge with it, free4talk to practice my English, I still can go out to the mosque to perform Taraweeh, I can still help out my friend selling some snacks, writing on my blogs, learning the new things, reciting and memorizing quran, getting insight to be more appreciated to Allah, get mindfulness, stop ranting, raving and complaining to Allah, being grateful all the time. I thankful to Allah that I'm still able to have income to fulfill my needs, daily needs. I'm grateful to Allah for all the things I had achieved in this world. 

I pray to Allah hope He increases more blessings and bounties to me, He gets all of my affairs easy so I can get them through. 

O Allah, I accept the reality of Your wills, I believe all the things happen because of You had decreed. O Allah, I'm willing to be the one who can appreciate to You in all time. I also want to be more optimistic, eager, having no gaps to ranting and raving, instead always be happy to dig up what is the best potential of me, how I can really serve and help people, how do I love people more, how do I be more productive more and more. 

Be Grateful In Every Day

I'm so grateful to Allah, it is should be appreciated more knowing that my parents still alive. Alhamdulillah o Allah, I'm still alive and healthy. Alhamdulillah o Allah, I still have a moment of fasting in the month of Ramadan. Alhamdulillah o Allah I'm still have a place to abide. I'm grateful to Allah for every moment that He had given to me. I love Allah. I didn't hate Him. I'm grateful for water and air, I'm grateful for understanding of English while people keep struggling with that. I'm grateful I can write and read. I'm grateful I've got mental health. I'm thankful to Allah for knowledge that I have right now. I'm grateful to Allah for the time and chances that I have. I'm grateful to Allah for having the phone. I thankful to Allah for food that He provides. I'm so grateful to Allah that now I always make some things of gratitude on my note. I'm grateful to Allah for eyes that He had given to me. I'm grateful to Allah for every day knowing that I can survive. I'm thankful to Allah that I'm still eager to make improvement. I thankful to Allah that I'm still willing and really obsessed in memorizing quran. I'm grateful to Allah for everything that He had given to me. I'm grateful to Allah for Rp. 10.000 on my pocket. I'm grateful to Allah for Rp. 20.000 income which I can get every day. I'm grateful to Allah knowing today I was eating food without having charged. I'm grateful to Allah knowing that I still have people around me and they still trust me. I'm grateful to Allah because every day I could step out of my house to go to the mosque to perform Taraweeh. I'm grateful to Allah because finally I quit my boring job which I've been really craving to detach off since along time. I'm so grateful to Allah for the access of Internet, with it I can learn and improve my knowledge. I thankful to Allah for Legs, hand, eyes, nose, teeth, senses, brain, nerve, hearing, seeing, smelling, sniffing, alhamdulillah for everything o Allah. O Allah I'm really thankful to You for every decision upon me, I accepted, I know you have a good plan, I know You love me more than I can think of, or more than I can realize. I believe Your plan is always amazing. Your plan is always out of the box. O Allah, I promise You, I would never complain about anything what happens in my life. I would stop ranting and backbiting, I would be grateful all the time. I would write down grateful list every day. Whenever I feel bad, I would counter with making grateful list. I promise You, I'd rather focus on self-develeping but my core keeps being grateful. Gratitude should be fundamental. 

Being Grateful Tirelessly

I'm grateful to Allah for water and air I can still consume. I'm thankful to Allah for everything that He has given to me. Alhamdulillah for place which I can take it as a rest place. Thank Allah for foods you had provided me, until now I'm still survived. Thank o Allah for my healthiness, I can still do what I should do this life. Thank o Allah for Rp. 20.000 that potentially I can take. I'm grateful to Allah for life and in fact I'm still alive until right now. O Allah thanks for everything that You had given to me. O Allah I'm so grateful, knowing that I'm still able to go to the mosque to perform Taraweeh. O Allah thanks for all the things of the countless blessings and bounties You had granted to my life. O Allah thanks for English Understanding You had given to me, so with that I could learn a lot, especially Lerning my religion. O Allah I'm really thankful to You, in fact that my sights still work and my hearing as well. My legs still in a good function. My hands still in the good function. I'm grateful to Allah for everything that He had given to me. Thank O Allah for clothes which I can take to wear. Thank o Allah for the chance of fasting in the month of Ramadan. O Allah I'm so grateful because I have to count on all of blessings, I can't enumerate them. O Allah I'm grateful to You about all the things You had decreed that it should've been. O Allah I want to thank to You, my life is colorful. O Allah you're The Greatest. You're The All Hearing. You're The All Seing. 

Being Grateful

Alhamdulillah I'm still alive. Tsumma Alhamdulillah I'm still available to access Internet. Alhamdulillah I'm healthy. Alhamdulillah I still have place to abide. Alhamdulillah I'm still fasting in this month of Ramadan. Alhamdulillah I still have water and the air is still available to be inhaled. Alhamdulillah I still have the income Rp. 20.000 a day. Alhamdulillah my sight still works. Alhamdulillah my Legs still in well function. Alhamdulillah my organs and senses still getting well. Alhamdulillah I had paid out the rent house for this month. Alhamdulillah I understand English. Alhamdulillah I'm a straight men. Alhamdulillah for everything had been given to me. Alhamdulillah for the bed so I can lay down thereof. Alhamdulillah for everything had been given to me. Alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah my teeth still works. I'm grateful to Allah, my ears and nose still work. I'm thankful to Allah that my parents still alive. I'm thankful to Allah for clothes I can wear thereof. I'm grateful to Allah for everything had been given to me. I really thank to Allah for everything. 

The Expression of Gratitude

I really want to become a grateful person whatever happens to me. I noticed that I really lack of gratitude, I always complain and rant the things that I should not appreciate, however it is only my feeling towards that which is not 100% true of the reality. 

I had learnt how gratitude can diminish stress and ungrateful feeling. Whenever I get depressed, I have to force myself to write down all the things impossibly can be denied to appreciate for. I had learnt the impact of being thankful when you decide to take it. Gratitude is all about your attitude, how do you perceive and react upon what happens in your life. Not everything that you can deliberately control. You're not god which has unstoppably control upon everything. You as human being just have to rely on Him, put thorough trust on Him, let His blessings and bounties come to you, protect and shield you, it is 'barakah' that we should always hope to have. 

I realized that I'll typically start off complaining when I saw what people have undelibrately, I'm being tried to overlook them then wishing it if I become that or those people, I might be happy. 

I would start off ranting about what I didn't have and start to point them out, even at the end I will compare my life with the luxurious things people have. And I will be more shallow, then of course it just double down your condition getting bad. You have to stop this game!

Here's what I'm gonna do:

In every ungratitude comes up, I have to recognize that it's just a feeling, you don't need to come along with attitude. Stop it then go to my blog and start to write down all the things you should appreciate more such as water and air are still available for me. So that by saying that, you'll get ttriggered to appreciate more automatically. I always compare between what I don't have and people have. 

It is fine, dude. Life is not comparison. Life is just about competing to have better afterlife. The best preparation for that is nothing other then struggling to be righteous person or muttaqiin. 

Tomorrow is fryday. I will start my morning with dzikir or remembrance of Allah. Of course in the transliteration of dzikir, there also contains about gratitude such as all praises to Allah who created heaven and earth by His will. 

Then around 10, I will do exercise. 

I also want to read the history of Rasulullah, memorizing quran. 

Being Grateful

I'm so grateful about what I've got by far. Water, place to abide, money to purchase food, still able to do fasting, get to know some friends, the access of Internet, the fresh air, my eyes still work, my legs so I can walk with it, the bed so I can take rest with, the clothes, I still have phone, I can speak English, I know how to read quran, I'm a straight men, I'm so grateful to Allah, knowing that I have the power or electric energy. I'm grateful I'm able to use the closet. Alhamdulillah for quran was sent down so we can take lessons with that. Alhamdulillah my parents still healthy and alive. Alhamdulillah everything that He had given to me. Alhamdulillah I can settle in this place as well as learn things more. Alhamdulillah for everything. I'm really thankful to Allah, in fact that I'm alive and get better in any aspect. I'm grateful for well function of my fingers so I can use them to type words in the screen while putting my ideas to spill. I really thank to Allah, I had come to know that keeping the beard grows is part of the sunnah, so I grow that up. I'm grateful for everything Allah has given me. I'm thankful for all the things what Allah gave to me. I'm grateful I have had income Rp. 20.000 a day. I'm thankful to Allah for all the things he provide upon me. I thank to Allah that I had quit music. I'm so grateful to Allah knowing that I had memorized quran for 1,5 juz by far. I'm really grateful to Allah my body gets healthy. I'm so grateful to Allah that I become patient to deal with any peoblem. I'm so grateful to Allah by knowing that gratitude is really necessary. I'm thankful to Allah and pray to Him, hope I can be a grateful person whenever and wherever I am. 

Being grateful all the time. 

The Blessings of Allah Never Gets Faded.

I'm grateful to Allah for having life and healthiness. Knowing that may organs' function still work. 

I'm thankful to Allah until right now I'm still able to live in a rent place along so I had already paid it out for this month.

I'm grateful to Allah, I still have water to take shower, it comes along with foods I had consumed, the access of Internet, going out to the mosque to perform Taraweeh, able to do fasting this month of Ramadan, getting out of destructive job, having time to read quran and learn about self-improvement.

I'm thankful to Allah, I had known about manhaj salaf, prophetic tradition, little bit of Rasulullah's journey. 

I'm grateful to Allah, I'm still able to purchase foods and water so I can have snacking time. 

I'm thankful to Allah that I had invested Rp. 200.000 to get 20.000 a day. 

I'm thankful to Allah I still have the bed to take a sleep. 

I'm grateful to Allah for everything He had given me. 

I really thank to Allah, I lived in a silent place, so I can be more focused when I learn something. 

I really appreciate upon Allah, I get away from Zina or drinking Khamar. 

I thankfully appreciate to Allah that I'm not surrounded by the wrongdoers. 

I thank to Allah because whenever I get depressed, I never conclude to do suicide like what else did. 

I'm thankful to Allah, I never give up to learn and always being optimistic about life. 

I'm grateful to Allah for all the things that I had accomplished by far. 

I'm thankful to Allah for everything He has done to me. 

I'm grateful to Allah, I still have Clothes that I can wear whenever I go. 

I thank to Allah for Everything He had Given to me

I'm thankful and fully grateful to Allah for everything that He given to me, if I have to count on His bounties it would be countless. I thank to Allah for water and air without these unrealized necessities we will die. I thank to Allah that I still have a place to live, take a rest, relax and calm down when rain falls down or when the sun strike right on a peak. I gratefully thank to Allah because of Him I can leave out my boring job, working for 12 hours, meaningless, it's also not aligned with my principle, a lot of cheats and lying, a lot of transgression and depresses.

I thank to Allah for Internet Access which by this I'm able to learn everything I need. I'm also grateful to Allah that right now I understand English better. I'm grateful to Allah for Knowing manhaj salaf. I'm thankful that I'm a real men, because people in out there get infected by Transgressive things such as Gay Community.

I really thank to Allah, because of Him I'm still survived even until right now. I thank to Allah, my parents still alive. I thank to Allah that I'm not like my friend. I'm grateful because my purpose really objective. I'm gratefully thank to Allah that my purpose still aligned with my religion and Allah's commandment. 

I'm grateful to Allah for everything that He had given to me. 

There's no excuse to not be grateful all the time. 

Respiritualizing

What am I good at? This question is timeless. It's tirelessly coming up in my mind, which I don't even know how should I react upon this. As I concerned by far, I'm happy whenever I have a dialogue or sharing knowledge to others, furthermore if I'm being the elephant in the room. 

I've been here about a month, and this is headed to two month. I had paid out the rent house for this month, and I don't know what I'm gonna do to pay for the next. I'm still in unemployment. I don't have income yet. Even back then I joined with my friend. He needs a partner to sell out snacks. I've once participated, I had taken my turn because we run this business respectively, concerning my friend, he's also being active in a Masaajid (being organizer), particularly during Ramadhan he'll get busy for sure. 

So, back then I tried to offer Snacks in a crowded spot. People walking around, some of them going back and forth just passing me by. The goods are sold out. I had learnt and come to know that selling snacks in the crowded place is very convincing. Because way before I join him in this business, I've also once been selling mask around the busway transit but no one buy anything from me. That's why when I had a try to sell this product, now I get it that Foods is legit to sell in the buzzes. 

I don't realize soon we'll get into Ramadhan. It's the time to purify our heart and return to Allah. Me too, I'm just willing to maintain my night and shubuh prayer. It's been along time I lost and get late these two things, even I know the cause I would say the biggest cause, it's none other than staying late at night, talking to opposite gender (non mahram) and I'll get up late. That's why I really want to end up this biggest game. Going back to the centre, muslim just has to do what muslim has to do, with no exception. I just want to get blessing of Allah. May Allah put all of His barakah in every day I get through, ameen. 

Actually, I really want to be a quran memorizor. I want to complete memorizing for 30 juz. And I also want to improve my Islamic Knowledge and the quality of my life as a muslim. I heard a lecture of Nouman Alikhan, he said that as a muslim we have to start becoming a morning person. And again it's all about qiyaamullaiil baby. 

Insya Allah, this Ramadhan I would put myself in any of my best. Pondering upon auran as often possible as I can. Leaving all the bad that muslim exactly should. Being more obedient to Allah. Taking Duruus. Applying Islamic knowledge in your daily life. 

Oo ya, one more thing. Today I met Elsa again in free4talk. She's asking about how I'm doing. We struck up by a little bit conversation. She did apologize about the decision that she made. And I said to her that I respect upon that, just no worry. But I'm not content because this is a good chance I'm able to speak to her, so I slip some of the questions such as what's the reason behind of that, I mean the decision? Then she responded that she's just afraid if I would depend on her and so did she. So that she decided to break the intensity between us. And I said, what's the point? Because and again we still end up using free4talk then mixing up with the opposite gender? Then she didn't give me any reaponse. 

Probably I have to more focus on my purpose from now on. Get myself away from unimportant thing.