Respiritualizing

What am I good at? This question is timeless. It's tirelessly coming up in my mind, which I don't even know how should I react upon this. As I concerned by far, I'm happy whenever I have a dialogue or sharing knowledge to others, furthermore if I'm being the elephant in the room. 

I've been here about a month, and this is headed to two month. I had paid out the rent house for this month, and I don't know what I'm gonna do to pay for the next. I'm still in unemployment. I don't have income yet. Even back then I joined with my friend. He needs a partner to sell out snacks. I've once participated, I had taken my turn because we run this business respectively, concerning my friend, he's also being active in a Masaajid (being organizer), particularly during Ramadhan he'll get busy for sure. 

So, back then I tried to offer Snacks in a crowded spot. People walking around, some of them going back and forth just passing me by. The goods are sold out. I had learnt and come to know that selling snacks in the crowded place is very convincing. Because way before I join him in this business, I've also once been selling mask around the busway transit but no one buy anything from me. That's why when I had a try to sell this product, now I get it that Foods is legit to sell in the buzzes. 

I don't realize soon we'll get into Ramadhan. It's the time to purify our heart and return to Allah. Me too, I'm just willing to maintain my night and shubuh prayer. It's been along time I lost and get late these two things, even I know the cause I would say the biggest cause, it's none other than staying late at night, talking to opposite gender (non mahram) and I'll get up late. That's why I really want to end up this biggest game. Going back to the centre, muslim just has to do what muslim has to do, with no exception. I just want to get blessing of Allah. May Allah put all of His barakah in every day I get through, ameen. 

Actually, I really want to be a quran memorizor. I want to complete memorizing for 30 juz. And I also want to improve my Islamic Knowledge and the quality of my life as a muslim. I heard a lecture of Nouman Alikhan, he said that as a muslim we have to start becoming a morning person. And again it's all about qiyaamullaiil baby. 

Insya Allah, this Ramadhan I would put myself in any of my best. Pondering upon auran as often possible as I can. Leaving all the bad that muslim exactly should. Being more obedient to Allah. Taking Duruus. Applying Islamic knowledge in your daily life. 

Oo ya, one more thing. Today I met Elsa again in free4talk. She's asking about how I'm doing. We struck up by a little bit conversation. She did apologize about the decision that she made. And I said to her that I respect upon that, just no worry. But I'm not content because this is a good chance I'm able to speak to her, so I slip some of the questions such as what's the reason behind of that, I mean the decision? Then she responded that she's just afraid if I would depend on her and so did she. So that she decided to break the intensity between us. And I said, what's the point? Because and again we still end up using free4talk then mixing up with the opposite gender? Then she didn't give me any reaponse. 

Probably I have to more focus on my purpose from now on. Get myself away from unimportant thing.