I'm aware that I'm good at story telling. I'm aware that I'm good at singing. And I realized that I'm also great at writing. I want to myself know and affirm about how amazing you are. You're created by Allah as you are. You are so unique and distinctive. And why you have to be shallow?
Anyway I really hate this font. Neither it's Times New Roman nor Georgia, which both of them I was favorable with. Every time I'm getting into Blogger, I used to use one of these fonts respectively. But it's ok, I'm going to have a try this font out.
Back to the topic. So that's exactly what I'm still looking for. I want to give my best in this life. It's not because I'm not thankful what I'm in now. Rather, if I have something good to do, not only that, but I can give more benefits for people, giving huge impact upon people's life, it is amazing. "The best among you, those who give more benefits upon others!", as prophet Muhammad Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam told us.
I got a lot of plan. Some of things that I had planned for a long time, now I've done it. Including I had quit my current job and move out to rent house while I had started off from scratch.
Back then I had dreamt about being a good public speaker. I always think if one day I really give a speech on the stage, either Religious Discourse or General Topic, I must be happy. As well as I always dream about being a good sales men, who's able to sell any product to the clients. Or I've ever thought to become a good Quran recitor.
By saying that, actually my plan is absolutely clear. But again when I come into going attain all of them, I'm not confident enough that I can do it. I doubted myself by pessimism. I confused myself creating some of invisible traumas, I brought up some of them into the time being, and at the end I didn't ever shift away.
I don't know if I really had impact since I was kid, regarding I'm coming from a broken home family. My mom and dad divorced. The I was end up taken away by the ex my dad's employees. They're a couple, husband and wife. So they brought me up to their home-land, while I tried to adjust with kind of New environment, till I realized I felt home in there.
I decided to move in there, living there make my own home. So I tell my dad that I would stay there for longer. My dad said to me that I can. He promised, he will pay for any of my bill, however I'm living with non-relative and my dad should be taking into account.
So I had moved in to that land. I had so much friends. I really love that village. Tea tree is rampant around. Poddy Rice was scattered alongside wood greeny. I remember my favorable spot is river with plan water. You can guess! Ya, I'm swimming as always. Fishing. Me and my friends explore the village through small way of poddy field. We flocked walking around, going down the river, and when we get there, we straight away jumped down to the stream of the river. That's so fun, even just to tell..
I'm going to tell you briefly about what happened next. Basically, I was raised up in my foster family till I get teenage, about secondary school. But everything's changed. Since my dad's company collapsed right before I come up to secondary school, my dad stopped, not filling up my expenses. At the and my foster parent said that it's ok, as far as they concerned I was considered as their own son, I'm being a part of their family. They told they love me, no problem.
Times went by, and I become teenager. My trait and attitude look different, that could be align with my time of puberty. I'm lazy to get instructed and defend to get ruled. I'm really objecting their advice. I felt like I'm a real son of them. Until to the point I fought with some of family's member, and they end up said to me, you're not part of this family, you should be more aware of yourself.
From that time on I realized, damn! It's that true. I'm nothing more than a stranger who coming by for begging a drink of water till the right time that I gotta go. Since that moment I'm being more aware, I always talk to myself, that I had lost of myself-belonging!
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